| | If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. (10) We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. (11) We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. So Tuesday night before I went over to hang out with Justin, I prayed and asked God to protect me from myself. And to please help me not to hurt myself. What that means for me, is to not let my fear of man (codependency) and anger juts rage on him. Don't know if that makes sense, but it does for me. I worry so much about what he thinks about me. I want him to love me and like me all the time. And that just doesn't happen, because we don't like everyone all the time. I want him to like everything I do, to think I am just wonderful all the time. And that just won't happen. Especially because I make mistakes, but in general anyway, it just won't happen. So, in times when it doesn't, then I get angry with him, and take my feelings of insecurity out on him. I hate when I do that. Or if something he's done hurts my feelings, then I get angry with him.
So anyway, Tuesday night, he told me something that really hurt my feelings. And immediately, I was upset, and wanted to do what I do. Especially when I had asked him a few questions after that, that he didn't want to answer, I thought immediately, I can't do this, and I went and called my sponsor. Well she wasn't there. So I called another friend from my group, and another friend, until I got a hold of somebody. Instead of raging on him, I talked with them about what had happened. Talked about what I needed to do, how I could respond in my pain, in a loving, kind way, what I could handle, and what I couldn't. And you know what? I felt a whole lot better about me for not getting so angry at him and saying things that hurt him. I realized, God had answered my prayers. He had protected me from myself. He did for me, what I couldn't do for myself. He helped me to handle a situation that would have baffled me previously, and I would have taken my anger out on Justin.
Praise God. The end.
Amy
|
| | Posted 11/6/2008 9:45 AM - 10 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
